The Third Place

Picture a life that only consists of two places… home and work.

Go to work… go home… x365 days…

Is something missing?

Of course there is… social life and community.

Sociologist Ray Oldenburg thought so too.

He coined the term “the third place” in the late 1980s, as 9-5 life in the suburbs became more siloed.

So what is the third place?

It’s a concept that refers to places outside of work and home for people to interact and socialize.

Oldenburg said, "What suburbia cries for are the means for people to gather easily, inexpensively, regularly, and pleasurably -- a 'place on the corner,' real life alternatives to television.”

Churches, bars/pubs, community centers, cafes and gyms are all examples.

These all share one thing in common; they bring people together and facilitate community.

But there’s a problem…

We live in a technologically advanced world that impacts how we interact (or don’t) in these third places.

Unfortunately, social media has become the third place for most people.

Scrolling through endless stimulation on TikTok…
Snapchatting people just to keep the streak alive…
DMing memes and reels to friends but not having conversation…

All under the guise of “being social”.

It’s a cheap substitute for real community and socialization.

Don’t get me wrong, I think there can be huge benefits to some online communities when they’re done well.

But that in no way is what social media is doing.

In fact, social media can lead to isolation and depression.

A study of 19- to 32-year-olds revealed a strong linear association between increased social media usage and increase perceived social isolation.

Researcher has also shown that a lack of social connection increases health risks to the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes per day or having alcohol use disorder.

But even outside of social media…

I regularly go to the gym and spend time in coffee shops but, despite being surrounded by people, I never talk to a single person.

I have my AirPods in…
I’m on my phone…
Or I’m working on my laptop…

That probably sounds pretty familiar because that’s most people’s experience these days.

Environments that are conducive to community are also places where people isolate in public.

It’s pretty clear… technology has made it harder to find and partake in third places.

But that doesn’t mean we don’t need the third place any less.

In fact, we need it more than ever.

I’ve had seasons of life where I didn’t have any third places.

It wreaked havoc on my mental health, my confidence, and my overall happiness.

But I’ve also had seasons of life where I have an abundance of third places.

And I’m undeniably happier, healthier and more fulfilled when I have a third place.

As humans, we’re built for community… and it’s getting harder to find.

But that just means we need to be intentional about finding it.

So ask yourself… do you have a third place?

If you don’t, I’d find one…

It makes the highs feel higher and the lows not feel so low.

Thanks for reading.